He cheated. Eight years of marriage. Two kids. A house, a boat, a family...and he walked out. What do you say to a friend who was figuratively punched in the face and told she wasn't loved anymore? How does she make sense of her life being turned upside down in a matter of days? Where is God in all of this and how can a divorce be in His plan for her?
Tough questions, right? And it just keeps getting messier. The more she finds out about her husband’s infidelity, the more the betrayal continues to pile up. His words are cruel and untrue. Her boys are crushed and confused. This journey for my dear friend is far from over. There are going to be some super dark days ahead for her and she’s going to have to cling to any hope she can find. She’s going to have to choose to believe God is in all of this when nothing seems to make any sense anymore.
And here is the ironic twist to this devastating story: my sweet friend was beyond faithful to her unfaithful husband. It wasn’t long after they got married that she had her first of many blows – she thought she had married a man who had surrendered his life to Jesus and shared the same values of her faith. But as it turns out, his actions weren't matching up to the words coming from his mouth. So now what? She trusted God’s Word when it says:
“And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband...” (1 Cor. 7:13-14)
She believed God and faithfully prayed for his salvation. She worked hard, really hard, at being a loving and servant-hearted wife. She pursed his interests and hobbies so she could spend more time with him. She encouraged him to lead their family and inspire their boys. She was faithful. He was not. It’s unbelievable enough that he would just walk out on his wife and kids, but for another woman? Disgusting.
I look at my friend with such admiration and awe. She is heartbroken right now and certainly confused. And as she puts it, he chose his flesh over his family. Sure did. And we all know where that’s going to leave him.
But to my girlfriend, and anyone else finding that they have been hit hard by a curve ball – remain faithful to the One who defines faithfulness. He will reward you when you follow through with what you’ve committed to. Big commitments like marriage or small commitments like a promise to your kid. Faithfulness is a virtue that pleases the Lord and He will show His favor to you. And faithfulness comes from simply having faith -- faith that God sees you, knows you, and longs to glorify Himself through you (that's grace), never stops training you for righteousness (that's loving), and is in control when life is out of control (that's sovereign).
"So those who have faith are blessed along with Abraham,
the man of faith." (Gal. 3:9)
“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect
you from the evil one.” (2 Thess. 3:3)
“Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving
toward all he has made.” (Psalm 145:13)
“God, who has called you into fellowship with his
Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.” (1 Cor. 1:9)
I love you friend,