There is a Time for Everything, Even Detours.

People told me this would happen...I'd be on a blog role and then hit a wall. I guess you could say that happened. It's been almost one month since I last blogged. But hear me when I say it's not because I haven't had anything to write; I think you could say I hit a detour. The purpose of this blog is to talk about issues that the women of Moody Church would find interesting, inspiring, challenging, etc. All with the intention to bring God glory and deepen our walks with Jesus. Usually I share something from my personal life that ties in to the blog theme -- this post is no exception. It appears that God has wired me to be an open book and embrace vulnerability. Someone shared a phrase with me back in my college days that sums up what I'm getting at: honesty leads to intimacy; intimacy lead to power; power leads to victory.

So, in effort to remain true to myself, I feel led to share with you a little bit of what I've been through in the last month. It was exactly four weeks ago today that I began to miscarry at 7 1/2 weeks pregnant. If you have ever experienced a miscarriage of your own, my heart aches with you. It was the most unnatural, backward transition I had been through. Nothing about it seemed right and just when I thought I was "finished" miscarrying, it would just get worse. That was something I had never known about miscarriages -- they can last for days. Some women have to have a surgical procedure done and maybe that ends the miscarriage sooner, I'm not sure. But in my case, it lasted for 10 days. I won't share any more physical details then that because that's not my point...instead, I'd like to try to articulate what I learned from the most difficult trial I have been through to date.

When I started to realize what was happening, my instincts kicked in and told me that the only way I would make it through such an unfamiliar journey was to trust God. Immediately Anthony and I looked at one another square in the eye and said "God is in this." We reminded each other that we didn't have control but we knew that God did. If this was His plan for us, we accept it. This mind set surely didn't make things easier for us, but I believe it guarded our hearts from going down a road of doubt and believing lies Satan would want to throw at us.

As much as I didn't want to talk about it, I made myself. I knew that the people who loved me would be God's instruments in providing me comfort, support and encouragement. Two best friends from Texas jumped on a plane and flew to Chicago to be by side so that I could cry at the drop of a hat, if I chose to do so (and I did!) and not feel like I was crazy! Others sent cards and emails. I was overwhelmed -- God was near to me in a dark hour. He heightened my senses... I felt His presence is every song I sang, I heard His voice when praying and seeking answers, the words of Scripture seemed to flow like music off the page and into my heart. One particular passage that sang to me was Eccl. 3:1-8:

¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace. 

I think it is safe to say that we do have a peace from the Lord about this experience and we're praying about what the future looks like. I find myself feeling fearful about being pregnant again and I'm working on submitting that fear and doubt to God. I learned that many, many women have experienced a miscarriage and the feeling of loss never really goes away completely. One woman lost her baby around 7 weeks like me  30+ years ago, and as she was loving on me, I could see the pain was still very real in her own eyes.

I think I felt compelled to write about my own experience because I trust that God is using this difficult time in my life for His glory. And it is my passion that women understand that we are not alone in life. Whether your difficult journey is related to mine or completely different, it is God's plan that we are all here for one another. If we don't share our struggles and difficulties with one another, how can we be there for each other? If it weren't for my unbelievable precious friends and family, I'm not sure we would have had such a sweet residue stem from such a dark time. It's ironic, I feel so loved from others because I lost something that I loved so much. And as the song goes, you don't know what you've got until it's gone.

I pray that the lessons learned through this experience stick with me. I say it all the time, and now believe it more than ever: God has a purpose in everything. Though we felt like we were in a dark and lonely place at times, the blessings in our life served as our flashlight to find our way again. If difficult times are needed to know God in a more intimate way, I'll take the trials every time.

Filled with peace,

Simone

Traffick Free

I sat down with two women who volunteer their time as staff at with an organization called Traffick Free. I love how the conversation started -- they explained that this organization was created when "concerned Christians" got together to try and do something about the massive and growing problem of human trafficking.  Over the next hour, I sat and listened to these two passionate (and concerned) women share all that they have learned through their journey with Traffick Free.

Traffick Free is committed to "free the supply and end the demand" of humans who are bought and sold as property. They define human trafficking as "modern-day slavery" and as a "business of exploiting vulnerable women, men, and children in conditions of sexual and labor servitude. Traffickers use fraud, deception, coercion, threats and force to transport, harbor or obtain people to perform commercial sex or labor acts against their will." Here are a few facts I learned and am still digesting even as I write...

Snapshot: The Extent of Human Trafficking in the US

• The US is the second highest destination in the world for trafficked women (NOW-NYC, 2007); $250,000 can be made from one woman in the US (Sweeney, 2005)
• 325,000 children are commercially sexually exploited in this country annually (Frederick, 2007).
• Of the foreign victims trafficked into the US, approximately 50% are under the age of 18 and 80% are female (US DOJ, 2003).

Snapshot: The Extent of Human Trafficking in Illinois

• In the metropolitan Chicago, 16,000 to 25,000 women and girls are involved in commercial sex trade annually, with one third of them first getting involved in prostitution by the age of 15 years.
• In a 2003 article, The New York Times labeled Chicago as a national hub for human trafficking. In 2005 the FBI designated Chicago as one of thirteen locations of "High Intensity Child Prostitution" (Tanagho, 2007).
• In Rockford, on February 7, 2005, federal authorities uncovered seven underground brothels operating under the guise of "spas", where traffickers locked Chinese and Korean women and used them as sex slaves (Tanagho, 2007).

It's a lot to take in, I know. But guess what -- as Christians, we're behind in the game. I recently read a blog by Carolyn Custis James regarding Oprah and all the hype surrounding the end of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Here is what Carolyn said:

"While I welcome Oprah's undeniably positive influence on many lives, at the same time I grieve the fact that instead of taking the lead in giving women and girls a bigger vision of who God created them to be (and, trust me, we do have such a message—even better than what Oprah has to offer), the Christian community is lagging woefully behind. And why is it that we are so often in catch-up-mode in addressing subjects that are painful realities in the lives of countless women and girls?  Shouldn't we be first?"

Shouldn't we be first? If you scream YES! along with me, keep reading. We (the women of TMC and anyone else who wants to come) are heading down the dark alleys and into the dirty world of human trafficking. We are committing to helping women and children at risk -- locally in Chicago as well as globally. Right now, we are praying about the hows, whens, and wheres. But the why has already been answered -- we know the hope and salvation found in Jesus. The message of the Gospel is too powerful, too freeing, too real to withhold from anyone...especially those in literal captivity. Scripture is filled with the mandate to be proactive and free the oppressed. Join us in prayer as we ask God how the women of TMC can be a voice, a solution, the hands and feet of Jesus. As our plan unfolds, we'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, the women from Traffick Free talked to me about plenty of needs they have and how people can get involved in this movement, right here, right now. To learn more about their volunteer opportunities and needs, check out their website. Pay special attention to the 5K they are sponsoring in September -- if you can help volunteer at this event, contact Courtney Newton.

I end with this, a passage from Psalm 72 that has been bringing me much comfort lately:

¹² He will rescue the poor when they cry to him;
      he will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them.
 ¹³ He feels pity for the weak and the needy,
      and he will rescue them.
 ¹⁴ He will redeem them from oppression and violence,
      for their lives are precious to him.

Love,

Simone

CNN calls us out

Recently Pastor Michael Best forwarded me an article entitled “Parents, Don’t Dress Your Girls Like Tramps.”  It was not in a Christian publication; rather it was on CNN.com, and it was very thought provoking.

It reminded me again of the important responsibility we have as mothers to teach our girls from their earliest days the biblical principle of dressing modestly:

1 Timothy 2:9:  Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.

Fashions and styles change often and fast, but God’s standards for his women never change.  Respectably and modestly—those are words that should govern our shopping trips and it is our responsibility to teach what they mean to our daughters.  It’s totally possible to be cool and still be modest. 

Did you know that in 2007, the American Psychological Association's Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls issued a report linking early sexualization with three of the most common mental-health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression.  Early sexualization begins with dressing little girls to look like grown, sexy women.  What ever made us think that this would do them no harm?

The author of this article said something that really resonated with me:

The way I see it, my son can go to therapy later if my strict rules have scarred him. But I have peace knowing he'll be able to afford therapy as an adult because I didn't allow him to wear or do whatever he wanted as a kid.

In some ways, we need some “tiger moms” who will stand against the culture, even when it makes you temporarily unpopular with your daughters.  Of course, before we lecture our girls, we have to examine our own wardrobes to make certain we role-model respectable apparel that is modest.  Then we must help our young girls establish their standards of dress so that they don’t even consider some of the trashy fashions that are all-too-acceptable in our society.

If you’d like to read the entire article—and I recommend it—you’ll find it at http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/19/granderson.children.dress/index.html 

Love,

Mary Whelchel

Director of Women's Ministry

A Moses Moment

Many of you know the name Donnita Travis, the Executive Director of By The Hand Club for Kids. If you've been attending The Moody Church for any amount of time, you've probably seen her at a Sunday service or read about By The Hand in the bulletin. By The Hand is an organization that Donnita founded 10 years ago and continues to lead today -- it's an incredible organization doing incredible things. Check out www.bythehand.org to learn more.

I have heard Donnita speak on a number of occasions, but this past Saturday night at The Venue, I heard her share her whole story of how By The Hand came into existence. I was blown away. Donnita had what I call a "Moses Moment" because things changed for her in a moment when she met with God. And the impact of that moment is still literally impacting thousands of children, volunteers, donors, parents and more in Chicago and beyond. Like Moses, she didn't see this coming. Like Moses, she doubted that she heard God clearly. And like Moses, God had an entirely different plan for her life then she could have come up with on her own. 

Donnita and her husband, Daryl, were well on their way to a successful career in advertising. This power couple had a mission and were dead set on accomplishing it -- they wanted to be the best advertising company Chicago had ever seen! As Christians, they were prayerful about their business-making decisions and ran their company with integrity. You could definitely say that they were using their God-given gifts as business professionals and seeing great success.

In the mid-90s, Daryl was starting a new brand strategy company and they had a plan in place: Donnita was to get her MBA from Northwestern and she would become the President of their current advertising company. With this plan in place, Donnita really wanted God to bless it so she told Daryl she was going to slip away for a few days, head up north to get away from the city, and spend some time with God on a spiritual retreat. Donnita described this as a time where she wanted to lay out all of her plans before the Lord and ask his blessing on what they had come up with. She had been walking with Him long enough to know that without God's blessing, nothing will flourish. Insert curve ball: Donnita didn't leave the spiritual retreat with God's blessing over her new plan. She left the spiritual retreat with a mission statement and vision for By The Hand.

How did this happen!? On the retreat, Donnita was spending time in God's Word and kept finding herself thinking of John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." As she mediated on this verse, her mind kept wandering to those who do not have life to its fullness. Or those who may not even consider their life being of any value. These thoughts started to take form, and by the leading of the Holy Spirit, she began to think of the at-risk, under-served, under-educated children in Chicago. She left two days later with this vision: Donnita wanted to find a way to serve the children in the worst Chicago neighborhoods, with the poorest kids, who had the worst grades, and meet with them at the most dangerous time of the day (after-school hours).

This is where the journey began -- although both Donnita and Daryl admit that when they look back at their lives, they believe God was preparing them for this journey from day one. It took a lot of time and Donnita has faced a lot of challenges along the way, but God has used her to move mountains! Here are a few confirmations that God has blessed By The Hand (BTH) over the past ten years:

• BTH started with 16 students in 2001 from Cabrini Green. Today, they are serving 767 students in four Chicago neighborhoods. Eighteen of their kids have gone to college.
• They've had 15,000 volunteers help them run their programs. This equates to over 500,000 volunteer hours.
• They've raised $17M from 2,400 donors.
• They've served a total of 1,844 students, made 20,000 home or school visits, and served 330,000 hot meals.
• In terms of academic success, BTH has seen 115% increase in reading, 159% increase in math, 57% of their students have gone from failing to passing, 89% graduate from high school, and 96% have gone off to college.

If your eyes are blurry from those stats, let me sum it up for you: BTH has been used mightily by God to make a holistic difference in the lives of their students. They aren't just helping them with their education, they are renewing their mind, body and soul.

The lessons I learned from Donnita and her story are countless, but I'll try to capture those with the greatest impact on me:

1. Donnita met with God. Although she had ulterior motives, she knew her theology well enough that spending time with God is a key ingrediant to living an abundant life. She made it a priority to disconnect from the world and be alone with Him. Aren't we glad she did!?
2. She listened. Can you imagine the tragedy of her spiritual retreat if she hadn't been willing to hear a different plan for her life? Why is it that when we hear stories like this, the person always expresses that it was unexpected? We do not have the capacity to think like God does so we can never dream up His plans for us. They are always better, bigger, and for His glory. 
3. She moved. Once the vision was planted in her heart, she hasn't looked back. Has she hesitated a bit at times? Absolutely. But Donnita admits that she consistently prays for the faith to keep going. She shared that the more successful BTH becomes, the harder the enemy fights against them. A woman in battle doesn't sit still!
4. She was strategic. The success of BTH didn't happen overnight. It took 3 1/2 years of a volunteer staff before she launched the ministry full-time. With each crossroad she faced, she sought the wisdom of her husband and the church. Donnita is a net-worker by nature, so she knows the value of making wise partnerships (or the pain of faulty partnerships) so she strategically places herself with people who are like-minded, passionate about serving children, and desire nothing more than bringing glory to God.

Ladies, I believe God intends each of us to have a Moses Moment. Maybe it will come in the form like Donnita's or maybe it will look entirely different. But let's believe and trust God that He has a big purpose for our lives and that if we are daring enough to ask Him to show it to us, He'll equip us to live it out. 

Much love,
Simone

Prayer Circle + As Our Own

This little girl was recused before her future was stolen from her.

Does the term Prayer Circle ring a bell yet? I'm hoping to get the word out more and more -- the Prayer Circle is a prayer meeting that meets once a month to pray for our sisters around the world. And not just any sisters, but those who are at-risk, in bondage, involved in sex trafficking, and more. My first "awakening" of the intensity and seriousness of this issue came about in February when I heard the president of Women at Risk speak at our Women's Ministry Luncheon. To read the recap, go here.

The Prayer Circle was birthed from that Luncheon. A women's ministry volunteer, Diana, decided the least she could do was start praying for these sisters and ask God to stir the hearts of more women...eventually hoping the a full on movement would spring up from our church. I've seen the movement start to get going and I'm hopeful we'll soon have some tangible ways the women of Moody Church to get involved in very practical ways.

In the meantime, As Our Own is in full force! As Our Own is a community-driven movement in India that rescues vulnerable children from certain enslavement and exploitation, caring for them as our own. For over five years now, Moody has supported As Our Own. Here’s a moving account from their work. Below is a story I want to share with you for two reasons: (1) I want you to know how you can get involved with As Our Own -- the favor of God is clearly on this ministry and they are always looking for more partners; and (2) you can start making a difference by joining our monthly Prayer Circle! For details on when we meet, click here. There are no strings attached to the Prayer Circle, just come and pray and expect God to move. 

A Story of Courage, provided by As Our Own Staff

"Many of our girls have been rescued from the certainty of second-generation sex slavery. Their mothers are the ones who are enslaved in brothels—they are the ones with horrific stories of abduction and abuse into the trade.

This is true for Prema.* And so we look back to her mom’s story, to see how her mom became enslaved.

Her story starts when her childhood ended, when she was just 11 years old.

One day after school, she and a friend went for snacks at a roadside food vendor, as was typical for children in her area. These two precious girls had no idea they had been targeted by predators. Their snacks were laced with drugs, causing them to become delirious. As they stumbled about, the predators watched and waited for them to collapse.

Three days later, the drugs Prema’s mom was given wore off. She awoke a prisoner in a brothel. She endured the horrific torture and sexual exploitation that constitutes the sick initiation of a new sex slave.

In time, Prema’s mom discovered that she had been relocated some 2,500 miles across India—the same distance it would be from New York to Los Angeles. She now lived in a large city with people who spoke a different language, held captive by heartless and cruel men. She had no hope of escape and no ability to figure out how to return home again if she tried. Her captors told her she had to work off her debt. Their threats, intimidation, and torture made it clear there was no other option.

When Prema was born some years later, her mother had no way of getting her daughter out of the red-light district . . . at least, no way on her own. Hope for Prema was as nonexistent as it was for her mom.

But then Prema’s mom connected with As Our Own staff members. That’s when hope ignited, because Prema’s mom knew that if she entrusted Prema to As Our Own, her daughter would have a chance at a life outside the district. She made the incredibly difficult decision to place Prema in our family.

The love, care, education, and training that Prema is receiving thrills her mom’s heart. Prema’s mom is now an inside advocate for As Our Own—she encourages other moms to also entrust their girls into our care.

Prema’s mom is an unlikely advocate for hope, but that’s what makes her witness all the more powerful. She knows firsthand how the extreme poverty in India places girls at great risk.

She knows, as we do, that these girls will face a dark, horrific future—unless someone intervenes.

God has opened the door for As Our Own to rescue girls before they are exploited, giving us the privilege to care for each one as our own—for life. It is a privilege to love and invest in the lives of these children by giving them a new family, loving care, an English education, opportunities to nurture gifts and talents, a college education, and more.

In addition, As Our Own works to break the societal patterns that produce treacherous situations by strengthening communities through pastors, leaders, and churches that can take the transforming love of Christ to those in need. We are building strong communities through our Lighthouse Church Network and training strong leaders and pastors at our Hope College, all to break these cycles for girls in future generations.

For more information about As Our Own or to get involved, contact Sherry Quam Taylor (operations director for As Our Own—and also a Moody-supported missionary) by e-mail at info@AsOurOwn.org or visit www.AsOurOwn.org."

*Pseudonym used for safety reasons.

  
This moving account shows that caring for women at risk is a huge undertaking. Let’s seek the Lord together in how He might use us at The Moody Church to be His advocates for women and girls in treacherous situations. Hope to see you at the next Prayer Circle!

Simone

Are You My Mother?

My dear friend Amanda wrote the following entry -- I am so thankful for her openness, vulnerability, honesty and good spelling -- characteristics I love in a woman! We'd both love to hear any thoughts you have after pondering her words. Happy Mother's Day, ladies!
 

Are You My Mother?

Amanda Bennett

Mother’s Day is not my favorite day of the year.  Not even top 100 days.  As a barren woman, Mother’s Day rubs in all the wrong places.

This week, I have been pondering this question - Why should we as Christians celebrate Mother’s Day?  Is it just a silly Hallmark holiday, or is there value in celebrating motherhood?  Don’t get me wrong, I understand the value of mothers, however, in this fallen world, all of our mothers are imperfect.

Growing up, I was not particularly close with my mother.  To say that our relationship was strained would be an understatement.  Today, through the power of Christ’s love and redemption, my mother is my inspiration and a dear friend.  I admire my mother not because she is perfect, but because she is a deeply flawed person who has been transformed by the love of Christ.

As I thought about my mother’s journey to the person she’s become, I’ve been reminded that God gave us mothers to point us to Him.  While our mothers have all failed to be perfect reflections of God in this world, His purpose is still there.  When we think of mothers, we think of the characteristics such as love, nurturing, patience, long-suffering, strength.  These are characteristics of God and ones that we should all be striving for as mothers or not.

I may never be a mother, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t act like one.  God designed woman to be trustworthy, loving, kind, wise and faithful.

Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-30: "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life ... Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 'Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.' Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."

These verses describe what God wants for all women – not just ones who are mothers and wives on earth.  We can all be mothers one to another.  We may not be changing dirty diapers, but we can exhibit patience and grace to those around us.  Because our earthly mothers fall short, it’s up to the rest of us in the church in fill in the gaps.  Some of us have mothers who have been the epitome of motherhood.  Some have had mothers who have treated us cruelly or were not present at all.  Each of us desires to be truly mothered.  We can be the hands and feet of our true mother – God.  That’s reason enough for me to celebrate.

Amanda and her Mom

Newsworthy

This weekend was a news-doozy, was it not? First, we couldn't take our eyes off the Royal Wedding. For a "commoner", the entire event was fascinating. What woman doesn't want to believe in real fairy tales and watch the Prince and Princess get married? I mean come on...a horse-drawn carriage, an eight-foot train, a Royal tiara gifted from the Queen? It really was dreamy. And then just as quickly as we could all catch our breath, breaking news: Osama Bin Laden is dead. I was literally watching Royal Wedding coverage (still!) when CNN broke the news.

Many of us experienced the same wave of emotions -- we went from day dreaming to nightmares. We were just getting used to all the wedding details, becoming so familiar with the affair we almost thought we attended the wedding, to trying to imagine the corpse of Bin Laden. What a spectacle. I'm trying to sort out everything I'm feeling today and realize that some are celebrating the death of an "enemy" while others are praising "royalty." All the cheering and excitement about Bin Laden's death makes me slightly uncomfortable. And here is the dichotomy: unless Prince William and Kate know Jesus personally, they are just as much an enemy to God as Bin Laden was. Yikes! I hate to say it, but wouldn't you agree?

I found some truth 1 John 3 that put my spinning mind back into perspective:

¹³ Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you. ¹⁴ We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love each other. Anyone who does not love remains in death. ¹⁵ Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. ¹⁶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? ¹⁸ Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth... ²³ And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. ²⁴ The one who keeps God’s commands lives in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. 

Not matter where we put someone on the spectrum of Royalty vs. Enemy, only one thing will save our lives...the love of Jesus. I feel like I got caught up in the world this weekend with all that was going on -- I got a bit distracted with the headlines. But John's letter directed me to a response to all this confusion that I pray I will implement way down deep in my heart: 

1) "This is how we know what love is: Jesus laid down his life for us." Thank you, Lord.

2) "And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sister." Yes. No matter how grand the crown or dirty the rifle.

3) "Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth..." No commentary needed for this one.

4) "And this is the command...to love one another." I'm sensing a theme here.

I'm still digesting -- it's hard to wrap our minds around what is happening in the world today and know how to respond as a Christian. I want to believe in fairy tales -- what joy the world felt the day William and Kate got married. And I want to find comfort in knowing the bad guys are being caught -- many expressed a sense of relief knowing Bin Laden is gone. But the world is looking to us to help make sense of such highs and lows...and when they do, "Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth..."

Are you with me?

Filled with Love,
Simone